Junk

For each piece of JUNK, a player collects $1 from the other members of the foursome.  The player who collects the most JUNK at the end of 18 holes wins the SANFORD or junk pool. A Sanford is worth $2. Negative Junk is deducted from the total pieces collected.   BIRDIE – One under Par.   EAGLE – Two under Par – counts as TWO pieces of junk.   CHIPPIE – Any shot into the hole from off the green with a bladed club.   FLAGGIE – On a Par 3, a tee shot  within the length of the flagstick.   POLIE – Any putt longer than the flagstick from on OR off the green. A Polie may be measured AFTER the ball is marked. You can get a POLIE on your second putt but NOT on your third. If it looks to be close to a polie but you’re not sure, it is YOUR obligation to measure it BEFORE you putt, no re-measures after the fact. If it is a close call, it is generally good practice to state “Polie Putt” before you putt, if anyone has an issue with the distance they can call for a measurement.    SANDIE – Getting up and down from a sand trap or fairway bunker. You cannot collect a Sandie if you leave your first shot in the sand. You are eligible for a Sandie if you hit your second sand shot from another bunker.   GREENIE – On every Par 3, the player closest to the pin is eligible for the greenie.  You must score par or better to collect.     KECK –– (NEGATIVE JUNK) Three putting on a Greenie.    TWOFER – During the match each player in the foursome can call 1 twofer on another player. The player that has been called must two-putt to receive one piece of junk. If they 3 putt, they receive a piece of NEGATIVE junk. Once you call someone on a twofer, you cannot call another one. Once you have a twofer called on you, you cannot be picked again. If a player does not have a twofer called on him during the round he gets an auto-twofer on the 18th or last hole.  If you call a Twofer on a player, make sure he hears it and acknowledges that he has been called.  It is bad etiquette to call Twofer on the first hole but it has been done in some acrimonious matches. BAM! – If a player one putts on the Twofer call. This is in play on any twofer call except on the 18th hole. Even if it is not an auto-twofer, a one putt on the last hole does NOT count as a BAM.    NEWT – When standing on the tee during the match each player in the foursome can call 1 Newt on another player. The player that has been called must put his drive in the fairway to receive one piece of junk. If their drive is not in the fairway, they receive a piece of NEGATIVE junk. Once you call someone on a Newt, you cannot call another one. Once you have a newt called on you, you cannot be picked again. If a player does not have a Newt called on him during the round he gets an auto-newt on the 18th or last hole. A player cannot change clubs after getting called for the Newt. If you call a Newt on a player, make sure he hears it and acknowledges that he has been called. You must wait until a player steps on to the tee box before calling him for the Newt. You CANNOT call a Newt on a player on the first hole.   AQUA-NEWT – If you are called on the Newt and hit it into the water, then the player who called you gets one piece of positive junk.  You still get one piece of negative junk for the missed Newt. In this case it must be an actual water hazard, not casual water or marsh or swamp. Generally speaking, ponds and creeks are considered water hazards – anywhere where you can see a splash. If a ball is hit near the water hazard and you can’t find the ball, it is assumed to have entered the water.  JUDY – If you use your Mueller and then par the hole you collect one piece of junk. CAPTAIN – (NEGATIVE JUNK) If you call your Mueller and then CAP.  A natural cap does not count. AQUAMOLE – (NEGATIVE JUNK) If you  hit a shot from a bunker into the water. You can only collect ONE AQUAMOLE per 18 hole round. SCHLENKER – (NEGATIVE JUNK) Any tee shot that fails to go past the ladies tee.  You can only collect one SCHLENKER per 18 hole round. STACKER – In the event that you collect another piece of junk on the same hole as another player, the second player to achieve that piece of junk has “stacked” the first player.  The second player gets both pieces of junk. You can only stack a similar piece of junk, for example, a polie does not stack a sandie, just another polie. The shots eligible for stacking are Polie, Sandie, Chippie, and Flaggie.  Birdies, Eagles, Greenies, Judys and negative junk are not stackable. The Stackman Sweep, which is a third stacked piece of junk, wins all of the junk ON THAT HOLE, NOT on the whole card unless agreed upon ahead of time or playing with Captain Fun. SHULU SAND-DANCE – The very rare Shulu Sand-Dance is named for the original Ironman. This piece of junk is awarded if you play from a fairway bunker to a greenside bunker, then get up and down for the par. You can get it on a par 4 OR par 5, as long as you were in at least 2 bunkers and get the par save. JEWELER – A player will earn a JEWELER if they are successful on both of their NEWT and TWOFER calls. That is, if the player they call is unsuccessful on both tries. You can call two different guys, it doesn’t have to be the same player. You cannot get a Jeweler on an Auto-Newt or Auto-Twofer on the 18th hole. You must wait until the player steps on the tee to call the Newt. You can call a Twofer at any time, even from the fairway, but the player called must acknowledge that they have been called. SIMS –  This shot is only in play on a par 3. It is a self call and can only be called ONE time during the round. If you do not hit the green and make your par, you get a SIMS. However, if you call the SIMS intending to lay-up and somehow end up on the green, it is a NEGATIVE piece of junk. BUZZSAW –  When you are putting for a POLIE, you can call a BUZZSAW. If you make the putt, you get an added piece of junk. Each player gets to call one BUZZSAW per round. However, now the BUZZSAW is now Progressive if you make your first BUZZSAW you can keep calling them until you miss one.  The second made Buzzsaw is a SAWBLADE, and counts for 2. With each made BUZZSAW you get ONE additional piece of junk. The BUZZSAW MUST be on the first putt. The BUZZSAW is stackable, but only if the stacker has also called his BUZZSAW. UNCLE JACK – If a player hits the fairway on his NEWT call and is the only player in the fairway on that hole, he get an UNCLE JACK along with his made NEWT. Multiple players can be eligible for the UJ on the same hole, but only one player can get it. Every player has a chance to get the UJ on the hole where they are called for their NEWT. GEORGIE – (NEGATIVE JUNK) If you fail to call EITHER your NEWT OR your TWOFER by the end of the 17th hole, you will receive a piece of NEGATIVE junk.    WHAMBOOZELER – Any shot into the hole from OFF the green doubles the junk. A POLIE from off the green counts double, as does a CHIPPIE, SANDIE or BIRDIE.